Love Lori

Happy First Birthday Gavin!

2006-03-29T09:42:00.000-06:00

2005-10-10T13:19:00.000-05:00

6 Month Photo

The Unveiling and the Thank You

2005-04-04T01:31:00.000-05:00

The Unveiling

Today Lori and I read through the whole blog together from day one, and there was about 3 hours of straight crying going on. She absolutely loves it. As an extra added bonus she had no idea I was doing this. (I thought she had caught on for a while)

Baby Gavin is doing great. I held him the entire time she read through the site, and I even cried when she read the part where I saw the guy in Olive Garden holding his baby and I wanted to hold mine. It was a very touching night and my little family got to share it together; just us three.

The Thank You

When I originally started this blog I was going to make it without comment ability, but as fate would have it I forgot to turn it off and got a comment on my very first entry. I was a little suprised as the comment came out of nowhere from someone I don't know. I realised how cool it would be to learn and hear from others. This is my chance to thank everyone who has read, laughed, cried, and had anxiety with me. Some of you I know and some of you I don't, but I cherish all the kind encouraging words you have shared over the past nine months.

I know some of you had asked for the gift registry so you could send something, but the letters to Ellen have been more than I could have ever asked for. I never meant to get anything from this blog except that loving look Lori gives me when I do something really special. Thank You to everyone who has been a part of my journey. Gavin is wonderful, and well worth the wait. we love him more every day.

Mike

P.S. She gave me the look.

OUR LIVES CONTINUED

2005-03-31T12:21:00.000-06:00

Here he is after a couple days when it has all straightened out and pretty. NOW he's cute. hehehe.

2005-03-31T09:47:00.001-06:00

This is him in all his ugly splendor. A Few hours after birth.

2005-03-31T08:23:00.000-06:00

You can't tell from here, but this hat barely fits.

2005-03-31T08:21:00.000-06:00

Burp for me baby!

2005-03-31T08:05:00.000-06:00

Daddy and baby Gavin

2005-03-31T08:04:00.000-06:00

Mommy and baby Gavin. Awe!

2005-03-31T08:03:00.000-06:00

Big Baby!

2005-03-31T07:56:00.000-06:00

Obligatory baby crying photo. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

2005-03-29T21:59:00.000-06:00

Gavin Michael was Born today March 29th at 9:42am via C-section. His is 9lbs. 5ozs. and 20.5 inches.

You and Gavin are doing great. I actually watched them pull him out; it was nuts! He has a huge head, like daddy did. His little nose is a little smashed, but all in all he looks newborn. Not the cutest kid I ever saw, and I feel a little guilty about that, but you said you agreed with me. The more we are with him throughout the day the more we adore him, and right now there is alot of us staring at him going on.

We were both kinda worried that we weren't awestruck at his arrival, but all seems to be going well. Thank God everything is well, and I will try and post some pictures ASAP, but I didn't bring my camera USB cable. DAMN! :)

(I snuck out of the room to post this.) :)

Gnight!

3 days

2005-03-26T20:54:00.000-06:00

So at the doctors appointment the doctor found the babies heartbeat way up by your ribs, so she scheduled an ultrasound because the baby appeared transverse and your cervix wasn't dilated at all. The doc scheduled a C-section for Tuesday because she assumed the ultrasound would come back saying he was transverse. The next morning we went in for the ultrasound and low and behold he spun around in your sleep and was now head down, and according to their measurements he weighs about 9 pounds right now. You were really disappointed that you were going to have to wait. After speaking with the doctor she said the chances are that you would be late giving birth and the baby would be around 10 pounds. If this was the case you would probably wind up getting a c-section anyway. So that's where we are right now. Tuesday 9am for a scheduled C-section.

6 days

2005-03-23T08:54:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I forgot to mention Districts! Sunday was another team ice skating competition and man was it a nailbiter. The first team skated a great routine, but our girls skated their best routine all year! The crowd was alive and cheering and now they are the District Champs. Congratulations girls! Who rocks the house? ;)
I get chills just writing about it. I know thats nerdy, but it so cool to see the improvement over the season.

P.S. K,S & K thank you from the bottoms of our hearts for the gift we were sobbing. I wasn't sure how to mention it before.

Hopefully my next post will be the baby post.

7 days

2005-03-22T08:02:00.000-06:00

For the last couple days you have been feeling "funny". Stomach is a bit tight and a little sore to touch. I am not sure if this is normal or not, but you seem to be rolling with it pretty good. I still told you to talk to the doctor. It can't hurt to ask.

So if the baby is born today he will have the same birthday as my dad, and if he is born tomarrow he will have the same birthday as your Grandma Harvey, and if he is born on Thursday he will have the same birthday as Aunt Susie. Either way someone is gonna get upstaged. ;) I am sure they won't mind.

I am breaking out now waiting for this baby. Darn anxiety! I suppose 7 days isn't so long to wait...feels like forever. :)

P.S. People keep saying "you are getting HUGE!" like it's a compliment. LOL I told you to ask them if they remember being pregnant. :)

11 days

2005-03-18T20:48:00.000-06:00

Bad news...The doctor says you will likely go full term...or...after. *shudder* I was thinking early, but apparently my kung fu is weak. I am still hopeful, but you are bummed out. My poor baby. :( I wonder what the percentage of kids born on the due date are? It doesn't seem that I have spoken to anyone who has had a baby on the exact day.

P.S. Regardless of what happens with Ellen, it's still a great show. *sigh* ;)

EDIT: I found out the percentage of kids born on their due date is less than 5%. Mainly due to not knowing the conception date. We have a solid grasp on that date and you said an online calculator said March 27th?

15 days

2005-03-14T09:46:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Lori!

We are still waiting. :) We were at Olive Garden last night with the Cousins and we saw a newborn baby, and her daddy was holding her, and she was sleeping so contentedly. It made me all melty inside. I wanna hold my baby! :)

In other news, we had another Ice Skating competition this weekend and over all we did well. Had a couple of unfortunate falls, and since we were in a strong bracket we couldn't afford it. I have to fight my feeling to make excuses for them because you always get mad at me for it. :) (God help me. I'm gonna be the wimpy parent aren't I?)

17 days

2005-03-12T23:48:00.000-06:00

Just about every night we talk about the baby, (go figure. hehehe) and I feel your belly and he kicks and moves a bit. For the last month he has been positioned really strangely in your belly. The doctor says he is transverse. We kind of figured as much, but tonight you said the cutest thing. We were talking and feeling him kick around in your belly, and the subject of his position came up, and you said "I hope he's comfortable in there". It was so selfless that it touched my heart. So simple and yet so beautiful I had to get up at midnight, and sneak in here to blog this. :)

19 days

2005-03-10T08:30:00.000-06:00

Last night Matt and I went to visit Rebeca and Savannah in the hospital I know you wanted to come with but you were really tired, and the last thing you need to see is a baby in distress.

For those who don't know my niece Savannah was recently admitted to the hospital with RSV. It is basically a really bad cold for babies, that can lead to severe respiratory distress. Savannah is not in the high risk group of children who get this so everything is cool.

It broke my heart seeing Savannah doing things I learned about in class as signs of distress. (Belly breathing and rales in her lungs.) It breaks my heart to see her like that. Poor little thing. Some things put being a future Paramedic in perspective like no other, and that was one of them.

21 days

2005-03-08T12:21:00.000-06:00

I KNOW I'M GONNA REGRET THIS POST IN A FEW YEARS. :) But I digress...

Last night we talked and we are one step closer to actually deciding on a middle name. I have been dead set against naming him Michael in any capacity since finding out we were having a child. Last night something happened.

The majority of Michaels are unholy terrors. If you see a little kid streaking down the aisle at Walmart you know his mother will be close behind calling "Michael put some pants on!". Insert you story here and the Michaels of the world have done it. Well...It comes down to this. I don't want a perfect kid with perfect manners who doesn't think for himself. I want my boy to have character. I want to keep him in line, but not squelch his spirit.

23 days

2005-03-06T19:29:00.000-06:00

Today's baby shower was awesome. I was trying to read the cards but I kept getting all choked up. I felt like a total moron. I guess the emotion of it all, and stress of work and school has me struggling to maintain. Plus I'm a sap.

Everybody gave great gifts, and we really don't have want of anything to take care of the new baby. Funny as it may seem we have roughly 60 onsies and only 8 bottles or so. I thought that was really funny. The fact that both of our parents gave us gliders was really cool because now we have one for upstairs (the babies room) and downstairs (the TV room).

The babies room is completely decked out now with a new glider, crib bedding matching lamp and diaper holder thing. It looks really cute. By looking at it you would have no idea we are broke. LOL! Thank God we have such great friends and family. I don't know if they know our situation or not, but they didn't leave us wanting for anything to take care of our little boy.

Gavin you are already so loved!

2005-03-06T19:22:00.000-06:00

The cake from todays shower

26 days

2005-03-03T10:31:00.000-06:00

Well the belly has definitely dropped. I noticed yesterday in bed. I also had someone talk to me about saving the cord blood and I had mentioned how limited the usefullness is unless you have one of several rare diseases. I spoke with you last night about donating the cord blood so that people who need it can get matched to it and use it. I feel good about that decision. It will be the first decision we make as official parents. :)

It really does mean alot when complete strangers validate what I am trying to do. I will admit I got a little misty when I saw her post about it, and especially that people are actually helping out. I am so very touched, I want to thank Seargent Fun for the help in the Ellen Quest, and thanks to the people who have participated. Thanks Stella, A, Min Pin Momma, and Circus Kelli.

THANK YOU!

EDIT: Some more thanks are in order! :) I am humbled and excited by all the love being shown for this! Thanks to The Fun Times Guide and Jessie_DC for writing articles about this effort.

28 days

2005-03-01T10:36:00.000-06:00

From now on I will list the thread titles in how many days left till the official due date.

I looked at the calendar today and my stomach dropped. It's March 1st and this is the first time I have felt a panic set in about the baby. I am giddy with anticipation of Gavins imminent arrival. :) He should be about 2 or 3 weeks old when he sees (or sleeps through) his first NFL draft. I can't wait, but man am I nervous as heck.

Gavin,

Despite my desire to remain unchanged by your arrival I can already feel my heart melting. I don't pretend to know what it is that is laying low my defenses, but it must be a powerful force indeed. What follows is a rough draft, or maybe just a collection of thoughts about you, your mom and our family.

My plan is to be the best of what my dad was to me mixed with the best of what Loris dad was to her. Both approaches produced great results.
I will pretend I am unmoved by your pleas to stay up, just a bit longer, citing "quality time with dad" as the reason for your request.
I will tell you to be a man and stand up to that bully because he is most likely to back down. (They don't always back down, but even if they don't back down the first time they will respect the fight in you on the second.)
I will help you understand that sometimes acting tough is enough to get you through, but if you have to back it up make sure teachers are watching so you don't get pummled too bad before it gets broken up.
I will teach you to respect your mother, and I swear to god if you ever call her a name or hit her there will be hell to pay. I loved her first, and without her there is no "you". Don't forget it.
I will instill in you the fear of God and the respect for beliefs other than your own.
I will make it my lifelong endeavor to lead by example.
I will love your mother with all my heart and soul.
I will promise what I promised your mother.

Till death do us part.

Love,
Daddy

35 weeks 5 days

2005-02-28T15:08:00.000-06:00

Caidens first birthday party was Sunday and your families baby shower was on Saturday. My mother forgot to go. She says she'll give you both presents next Sunday at that baby shower. :) We had a good time yesterday talking with family and hanging out. I got to mingle with all the families involved and we had good conversation. LOL (Good conversation? I'm old!)

I want to take this oppourtunity to thank everyone who came to the various showers for all the great gifts and love. Thanks!

35 weeks 2 days

2005-02-25T12:36:00.000-06:00

I am starting to think a overly fun letter will need to be created to have Ellen notice me. (I will post pictures of said letter) :) Or maybe she is already feeling good about the Chicago area after Thursdays show and I will be edged out on sheer politics. I don't know for sure, but I have faith that Ellen will hear my cry.

Meanwhile I just went through the Obstetric and Gynocologic Emergencies portion of my EMT book in class and HOLY CRAP! That video the hospital showed us was NOTHING in comparison with what I saw. It made me very nervous. Whoever said birth is beautiful is nuts! The product of birth, Life is beautiful. Birth is an unholy horror. My sympathy uterus hurt for like 2 hours.

34 weeks 6 days

2005-02-22T10:52:00.000-06:00

Matt and Carmen both got fluish over the weekend. Yikes. Thank God you got a flu shot! I'm just hoping I don't get it now. :(

I am having a hard time writing lately. My head is in a fog. I am not sure whats going on, but I try to remember events from the week, and although I know fun/cute stuff happened I just can't recall it. I know you want to have the baby early, but I need to finish EMT class and be able to pull some part-time shifts at the Fire Station so I can make up some of your income when you're out on maternity. I know that is weighing heavily on my mind, so maybe that is why I can't concentrate. My class grade has slipped a bit from a 97 to a 90. This time I am going to complete all the quizzes myself.

The team competed on Sunday and did very well this time; no falls and no breaks in the lines. It was a little sloppy, but they got 3rd out of 5 and you were pretty happy with the performance. I was happy too once it was over. My heart was beating out of my chest. :)

34 weeks

2005-02-17T08:19:00.000-06:00

6 weeks left. Crazy huh? You are hoping to go early of course. ;) I am working on a scrap book idea involving this website, but I feel like most of my entries are crappy so I don't want to put those in there so maybe I will just use a screenshot of the site instead.

Those body pillows I just bought you are pretty slick eh? :) The last couple of nights you have been sleeping much better, and I am very happy. You're still tyring to do everything yourself, like tie your shoes, eventho its obvious that you should let someone help you out. :) I always help when I'm there, but if I'm not just ask someone. Easier said than done eh? :)

33 weeks 5 days

2005-02-14T10:21:00.000-06:00

In the spirit of the scrap book page I made for you last year with all the Valentines day cards you had given me over the last 12 years. (Which by the way is impossible to top. Unless the Ellen thing comes through in which case I will cry my eyes out with happiness.) I was thinking about making a baby scrapbook page with some of the border and the cloth swatches we used to decorate the baby's room. I am still not sure tho that's my backup plan. I haven't come up with the smashing idea for Valentines Day yet, but I am on the case. :)

I also got an email today that reminded me of us.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said...No.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...And he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again, he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears were streaming down her face.
The boy grabbed her arm and said...You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever!
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

UPDATE: I completely botched Valentines Day and wound up getting a card. In your hyperemotional state you still cried, but I know what I could have done so I am disappointed. The baby thing was such an easy play I didn't want to go that route, and in my delay to find something better I ran out of time. bah!

Taken 2 days ago

2005-02-12T03:46:00.000-06:00

I Love Lori

33 weeks 2 days - A decent proposal.

2005-02-11T08:31:00.000-06:00

It hit me last night. We were talking and you told me the nightly "the funniest thing happened on Ellen" story, and I thought. "I should see if Ellen will announce this blog to you on her show! So today begins my quest to make this happen! :) Here is the letter I wrote to Ellen. (more or less) I think I revised this letter 50 times. I don't want her to think I am begging for stuff.)

Please forgive me if this is too much to read, I tried to be as concise as possible. I bolded the most pertinent parts of the story so you can scan quickly. I know you are probably inundated with letters like mine so if you could send me a nice little rejection letter so she knows I have tried I would appreciate it.

Dear Ellen,

My wife is a huge fan of yours. Since she is at work while your show is on she TiVo's you every day. She absolutely loves everything about your show. When we lay down at night I can always look forward to a funny Ellen story relating to an event of your show. Such as how you think you threw your back out dancing with the Laker girls. I chuckled when I heard that. My wife Lori and I have been together for 12 years (since High School) and we are expecting our first child on March 29th. The English language is not adequate to describe how much I love my wife Lori. She is the only thing that always makes me smile. Sometimes I tell her that she is an angel, and sometimes I think she might actually be. I won't torture you with our love story, but I pray that you will hear me out.

Lori miscarried our first child at 9 weeks. We were crushed. When Lori became pregnant a second time we were full of excitement, but the anxiety and worry were unbearable. I wanted to shield her from my own anxiety and worry so as not to add to her own stress level. I created an online journal that would tell her how I felt each day without adding stress to her pregnancy. I decided I would give the link to the website to her after the birth of our baby, and she can see just what I was thinking during this stressful time and maybe even reminisce.

I am from a family of 6 kids, and until now had no idea that it is customary to give a gift (most women I talk to suggest jewelry) to your wife at the birth of your child. Despite both working 2 jobs, we are struggling financially, and it looks like the only thing I will have to give her is this online journal. I really want to make it special for her. Since she loves you so much could you say a little something on your show so she knows where to go to find my gift? I know it would mean the world to her, and since she is the world to me it would be a dream come true.

http://lovelori.blogspot.com

Thank You,
Mike B

P.S. The blog (online journal) begins in August at about 7 weeks pregnant. Those first few entries are the most candid. http://lovelori.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_lovelori_archive.html

33 Weeks

2005-02-09T13:33:00.000-06:00

The baby is moving all over and making you increasingly uncomfortable. I don't know what I can do to help you out, but I did find a body pillow in the web I think I am going to ask you about to see if you like it. Meanwhile you are very annoyed at all the same questions from the same people. :)

31 weeks 6 days

2005-02-01T09:23:00.000-06:00

It's February 1st now and that March 29th date is moving in fast! My dad actually came over and put up the border in the babies room while I was in EMT class on Saturday. I was shocked! I was also very grateful that I didn't have to do it. He did a great job.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will be finished with EMT class in April and we maybe able to breathe a bit easier. A few departments are hiring Firefighters so I will be testing to get on. I know you think that once you have your Certs its easy from there...or maybe you just have alot of faith in me. Here is what makes me nervous about getting hired. I am 29 and I am not a Paramedic yet. The soonest I will be able to finish medic school is going to be the end of next year which makes me 30.5 years old. The oldest you can be to be hired full time is 35 so that gives me 4.5 years to get hired. I don't want to be overly confident that I will get hired. Some guys take 10 years to get hired full time.

2005-01-30T17:04:00.000-06:00

Can you guess the theme of the babies room? :)

31 weeks 2 days

2005-01-28T08:45:00.000-06:00

Our last baby class was on Wednesday and since the first day they have been telling us that the husbands were going to have to change a babies diaper and whoever did it the fastest and most proper would win a prize. The moment of truth came out on Wednesday. It was rather lucky that I had to diaper a baby girl since I have 3 little sisters that I changed diapers for and only one little brother. :) Since the number of diapers I have changed is right around the hundreds (renee was a boob baby and they poop alot in the beginning) I didn't want to whiz through it since the other guys seemed to be having "issues", but you knew I could do it faster and since I was sandbagging you were getting all tense and competitive. LOL You are so cute it cracks me up. I still won. (Against the guy that has 2 kids already) :)

Yay Me!

30 weeks 5 days

2005-01-24T09:17:00.000-06:00

I'm so in love with you! Yesterday was the first competition for the your Formation Team, and it was fraught with disaster. You know exactly what happened, but to sum up for those who don't. First thing one girl got strep the morning of the competition. Second to compound the fact that she was missing she was a line leader in nearly every element in the routine. Third this was the first time for most of the girls to skate at another rink let alone a competition, and there were atleast 8 falls in the program from girls who never fall. Fourth the ice was much harder than the girls home ice arena. Lastly, the girls went first in their group right after an "ice make" to cap off the event. Despite all of these factors you focused very professionally on the problem. A. Some girls probably didn't have their skates sharpened recently. B. They need to be accountable for their mistakes because yes the ice was hard and slippery, but not ALL of the girls fell. C. When you feel foreign ice skate more cautiously.

You refocused the accountability back to them for their performance. If you start blaming something else besides yourself you will never fix the problem. Yes you realize that the ice was PARTLY to blame for the performance, but you cannot set bad precedence for your team by placing blame on an intangible.

I was, and am still so impressed with you. You will coach a truely great team one day it may well be the girls you have now and the coaches who get these girls after you will thank you. The finest performance of the day was yours although I know I am the only one who saw it.

To put things in perspective for all of the people reading this. A girl from the team just above Loris fell 1 minute into a 3 minute routine and knocked out a tooth, root and all, and chipped another and nobody knew it because she got up and skated the rest of the routine swallowing mouthfulls of blood. That is the level of dedication a 13 year old can have to her teammates. Nobody would have blamed her if she would have come straight off the ice. Her team would have lost but nobody would have been upset. Instead they got second. Truely unbelieveable.

29 weeks 6 days

2005-01-18T13:36:00.000-06:00

We had our first baby shower on Sunday and we really had a good time even tho you don't like to be the center of attention. :) You crack me up. We got all kinds of wonderful things from your synchro team. Even tho it was god awful cold we still had a good time. :) I sure am having a good time doing this dance dance revolution wish you could play with me. GOOD NEWS. By the time you read this you WILL be able to play with me. :)

Special Thanks to:

Karen and Laura and all the ladies involved. Thank You.

28 weeks 4 days

2005-01-09T13:10:00.000-06:00

I took the advice of a friend and wrote the follwing letter from Gavin to Mommy.

Dear Mommy,

I think about you all the time. Every day I wake up to your voice and your movements and I am happy.

I am growing bigger and bigger every day, and daddy hopes I have your nose. He also says when I finally arrive I have to be strong and protect you, so I am doing lots of exercise in here; I even punched daddy in that back last night. :)

I can't wait to see you daddy says you are wonderful, with beautiful eyes and a smile like an angel! I know what those look like so you must be very pretty indeed. It's funny how much I love you and I haven't seen you yet. I am looking forward to snuggling you Trinity and Daisey. I love you all so much!

Your little (BIG) boy,
Gavin

P.S. Daddy helped me write this. Isn't he nice. :) He says to remember that right around the8th, 9th and 10th cm of dilation (whatever that means).

28 weeks 1 day

2005-01-06T10:44:00.000-06:00

So we had our first child birth class and it was...uh...nauseating. Even my Uterus was hurting. :) We get to see the videos next week. *gulp* I shudder to think. It only cements in my mind that my mother was a total fucking badass for having 6 kids and taking care of us 24/7. Women nowadays are wimps. I have a person I know who bitches constantly about the one little monster she has, and it makes me nuts.

27 weeks 3 days

2005-01-01T16:14:00.000-06:00

Everyone is really taking notice of your belly now. :) It's so cute. "Wow Lori you popped!" This has been heard a few times in the past few days. Things are going well and it is a new year now. I forgot to Mention the Tsunami in my last post so I will mention it here. It happened on the 26th of December a website was put up by a guy I know with all sorts of videos and pictures here http://www.waveofdestruction.org. The last report was that Indonesia alone lost 80,000 people. Maybe this will help you remember when you started your third tri-mester.

Last night we had a New Years Eve Party, and it was a good time. Friends and family came and celebrated and there was a ridiculous fireworks display that I did not expect. Go thing I wasn't sleeping or I would have thought we were getting bombed. Holy crap! :)

26 Weeks 6 days

2004-12-28T11:17:00.000-06:00

Holy Crap! We don't even have a kid yet and we have half a room full of shit for him. We spent the entire day yesterday cleaning out the computer room and moving crap around our bedroom to make room for the ever growing number of nicknacks. LOL It still feels like we didn't do anything. Yikes! I can't even imagine what is going to happen once we have the baby shower.

On another note we are one day removed from the beginning of the third trimester! *cue the music* This is gonna fly by! :)

On the financial front I told the creditors if they would like to force me into bankruptcy they can continue to arbitration, or they can take what I am offering which is nothing for now.

26 weeks 1 day

2004-12-23T14:03:00.000-06:00

Christmas is coming up in a couple and I am not sure if I should get you something from me for the baby. I got you all your regular gifts, which you are gonna love, but I am struggling with this one. Anybody got any ideas? Should I buy her something for the baby? I would like to its all soooooo cute. :)

25 weeks 5 days

2004-12-20T08:29:00.000-06:00

Something is different about us lately. I don't know what happened? You have warmed up alot. I am shocked. I don't know what to make of it, but I am excited. :) I think I know what helped you turn the corner, but I can't be positive. You are the only woman in the world worth marrying, without you there are no other options.

I Adore you,
Mike

***NEWS FLASH*** This morning at about 6am my brother in law Jason sent me a text message that my sister Rebeca went into labor this morning. We should have a new little girl in the family soon enough. :) hehehe Gave you the butterflies in your belly didn't it? :)

Ok as I was typing this I got the call. It's a girl Savanna 6 lbs. 12 ozs. 19in.

25 weeks

2004-12-15T15:58:00.000-06:00

I don't know if I ever told you, but you really crack me up. Last night when we went to the pizza party for your synchro team I had a really good time. I am always impressed by how you are professional and approachable at the same time. All the girls on the team love you and so do the parents. I don't know how to tell you how proud I am of you. When we first started dating you were still taking lessons and you were so shy...err reserved. :) It's crazy how far we've come since our teens. I know our son is gonna be lucky to have a mom like you, because I am proud to be your husband. I love you with all my heart.

Te Adoro,
Mike

P.S. I am giggling so much right now. I wonder if you are suspicious of me. You keep forgetting how far along you are in weeks and I always know right to the day. LOL Little do you know (I hope) that I am writing this. I'm so sneaky. :) It makes me look good to other people tho which is funny, but I keep getting other husbands in trouble. Sorry guys. :)

24 weeks 6 days

2004-12-14T10:17:00.000-06:00

When we were dating for a few yaers the question was "when are you getting married?" After 6 years we got engaged and the question was "So whens the date?" We finally tied the knot, and the day of the wedding we were already asked the next big question. "When are you having kids?" followed closely by "So, hows married life treatin ya?" Now that we have a child on the way the inevitable "when are you due?" is flying around, and I am sure the next question is "are you guys gonna have more?"

23 weeks 6 days

2004-12-07T14:56:00.000-06:00

The baby is kicking like a mad man now. :) You still refuse to take out your belly ring, which is cracking me up. It has to happen sooner or later, why not sooner than later? :)

The Belly is totally cute, but the sex is gonna suffer I see. Bah! I am getting sick for no good god damn reason and thats starting to annoy me. Right along with working every night at Genoa. Short update, but I have to go home form work now.

23 weeks 1 day

2004-12-02T09:35:00.000-06:00

I came to bed last night and put my hand on your belly while you were sleeping and tried to talk to my little boy in there. After about 20 seconds of having my hand on your stomach and thinking about him he kicked me square in the palm. :) He started kicking so much you woke up. :) Sorry bout that. :) But I started talking to him and he calmed down so you could both get some sleep. I giggled silently to myself.

22 weeks 5 days

2004-11-29T08:26:00.000-06:00

I know you are notriously difficult to suprise, and I think my cover may be blown, but if this is the case please don't read this. :) It's a suprise. :)

The baby is kicking up a storm, but I am still unable to feel it. Bah! Little brat. :) It's kinda weird. We went shopping on Saturday at the Mall and were looking at things to buy for Christmas. We stopped to look at the baby clothes. We didn't buy anything, but it was cool to imagine our baby in some of the stuff on the rack. :) Weirded me out a bit.

I promise not to go on and on about how smart my kid is until he has sucessfully proven gravity is a wave. My pet peeve is parents making a big god damned deal out of nothing. :)

21 weeks 5 days

2004-11-22T08:43:00.000-06:00

We finally registered for shower gifts. :) It was really fun. We didn't really know what to get, but your mom helped a bit with that. I still think the list is prbably a little slim still. :)

The baby is kicking so you can feel him from the outside, but I still can't. :( You were worried because you always feel the kicks low, but you are feeling them on both sides of your stomach so I assume that is good. :) I am not too worried.

For those of you who read this who want to know where the registry is just comment with your email and I will send you the link.

21 weeks 1 day

2004-11-18T09:06:00.000-06:00

The anticipation is killing me already. Crap! You are feeling him kick just about every day now and its really exciting. I guess it is alot more real now.

It is making me nuts that you don't believe me when I say you're beautiful. (this is for all women.) If I say you are beautiful and you tell me "no I'm not" or "love is blind" you are telling me that my opinion is meaningless or that I should find someone else who IS beautiful. Don't do that.

I feel like I talk to the baby too much maybe. I don't want you to think it diminishes you in any way. It is quite the opposite actually. I won't get too corny, but he's gonna be ours. Yikes! I hope I don't fuck him up. :(

20 weeks 4 days

2004-11-14T11:57:00.000-06:00

We just got our 20 week ultrasound yesterday. And we found out the sex of the baby.

As excited as I am, I can't help but feel apprehensive about the way that is done, but I suppose it is safe...but high frewuency sound waves pummeling my deeveloping baby ake me nervous...or is it irritated?

The baby was moving all around and stuff. :) It was cool. Everytime she tried to take a picture of the top of the babies head it would look straight into the camera. :) Awwweeee. :) We got a few pictures, and we are really excited. I will post some ultrasound pictures in the near future.

In other news I am now an official Fire Fighter and the money situation is looking up. :)

Lori,

I am so proud to be your husband. So much of who I am is a direct result of being with you, and I know you feel insecure sometimes because I get hit on, but the fact is that no other girl could ever measure up. There is no longer a guard at the castle, the dragon has already been slain...by you, and they would forever be in your shadow. I am what they like because of you, and I love you with all my heart.

Te Adoro,
Mike

Did I mention it's a boy? :)

18 weeks 6 days

2004-11-01T09:56:00.000-06:00

You said you felt the baby move last night! I was so excited! I can't wait till it's waking me up by pummeling me in the middle of the night. Not! :) Hehehe My dad used to get so mad when that would happen to him. :) Caiden was the cutest damn thing on Halloween in his little Dinosaur costume. :) I can;t wait to dress my kid in cute stuff. :)

18 weeks 2 days

2004-10-28T13:28:00.000-05:00

Holy Shit have we been "busy". Not other people busy actual busy. :) Every night I don;t have class I have been working at the Pizza Place to help out Jose including Sat ans Sun and you are picking up the slack on the other couple days. (Because You Kick Ass!) I have one more class after tonight and my state test on Monday and I am an Official Licensed Fire Fighter II. :) We took pictures on monday of your belly. :) Cute. I like to say good bye to both of you in the morning. I hope you don't mind the belly kisses. :) Two weeks before we get to schedule the Ultrasound. Wee! :)

16 weeks 5 days

2004-10-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are both Beauty and Grace and I am forever grateful. My angel.

16 weeks 2 days

2004-10-15T11:00:00.000-05:00

Last night was our 4th Anniversary. Man did I want to show you this site. :) I held strong tho! :)

I went to American Eagle and got you a guys large hooded sweatshirt for the pregnancy so you're not trying to stretch out your little ones. :) I also brought you a 6 pack of sprite and a couple movies. Like when we first started dating. :) You liked it, but not as much as I expected. I want tears of joy damnit! Tears I say! :)

This morning I was having sympathy sadness or something I was crying like a woman because my family hasn't gotten together in a while. . .What the FUCK is that?! So I called my dad and told him we should setup a monthly get together or something where we can all eat dinner and play games or something. :) Maybe I will even assign the entertainment task to someone in particular in the family each go round. Ohhh Fun! :)

16 weeks 1 day

2004-10-14T07:02:00.000-05:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 4 years of marriage today. :) Weeee!

Today is also your doctors appointment and we get to find out when you are going to get your next ultrasound. I'm so excited I want to know if its a boy or a girl. :) The baby is around 8 inches long now (roughly the size of a smurf at 3 apples high) and growing. Your belly is alot more prominent now and when I mentioned it, you smiled so you're not too sensitive yet. :) I was talking to Patti when I went to the dentist yesterday and she thinks we are gonna be good parents, somewhat allieviating my fear of fucking up my kid. I guess we are all fucked up in our own special way. Isn't that sweet. Oh yeah! Thanks for coming to my softball game even tho it was really cold out. I like it when you're there. *sheepish grin*

14 weeks 5 days

2004-10-04T07:43:00.000-05:00

The baby is like 5 inches or so now and by the end of this week is supposed to be fully formed. I saw a picture of what the feet look like at 13 weeks, and they look like perfect little baby feet! :) Not sure when the untrasound is but I hope they can tell us if its a boy or a girl. That would be so awesome have been reading through that baby name book and it sucks. There are so many stupid names in there I am going nuts. I think instead of 40,001 names we need like 500. I can deal with 500, but by the time you get through 40,001 you will have narrowed it down to what, like 100 names? Bleh!

I know we are not getting a lot of time together, but I will be done Nov 1st with the Academy so that will free of my Saturdays and Tues and Thurs Nights. :) Anyway, I am thinking about you here at work, and I love you with all my heart.

2004-09-29T09:18:00.000-05:00

A Beautiful Day in October 2000!

13 weeks 5 days

2004-09-27T13:54:00.000-05:00

I spent the whole weekend working at the firestation with the mission of getting some decent ambulance calls under my belt. I finally got the call that really made me think. It was the afternoon sometime and the tones in the firestation went off adult male blah blah blah severe pain lower left quadrant abdomen. We went to the site and to make a long story short as we were working and asking our prep questions he dropped the bomb on us. "I tested positive for hepatitis B and HIV." hearing news like this when someone is putting an IV in his arm was for me a little disconcerting. When it comes right down to it tho we felt fortunate that he actually told us he was HIV positive. We were fully gloved up and everything it was just that it was my first experience with someone who was HIV positive. I immediately thought of you and the baby. The thought scared the hell out of me, but I know that this is what I was made to do. A lot of guys do it and I am sure this will help me get over this subconscious fear of needles. I actually watched him get the IV which was cool. I felt nothing as I disconnected the person from the procedure. Maybe that's the trick.

Recently you told me that your butt bone was hurting and you didn't know why. Matt says that it has something to do with your pelvis expanding??? I am not sure how much of that is bullshit but we can ask the doctor. (or maybe someone reading this knows.) I talked to your belly and told the baby that I can't wait to see him and you cried. :) You're so emotional. Your belly is starting to pooch a bit, and you do look fatter, but I dare not say so. I like a big ass tho, so it's cool. :) LOL You are gonna hit me when you read this in a few months. :) FUN!

13 weeks 1 day

2004-09-23T09:09:00.000-05:00

I started taking blood pressures for the EMT class I will be entering and you said the doctor found the babies heartbeat with the stethescope, but I had no such luck finding it. :( Damn. You are starting to show a little pooch of a belly and it makes me smile, becuase you already thought you were fat. I can only imagine how it will be now. :) I just keep telling you nothing has changed. I will maintain this story well into the 9th month. :) Rebeca found out she is having a girl, and you told me you would like to have a girl now because it would be cool to raise 2 girl cousins.

Rebeca is going to name her daughter Cameron Alexis I believe, and we are leaning toward Laney if its a girl. Gavin is still the solid boy name. (I love that name) :) You borrowed the 40,001 baby names book from Rebeca so I am sure you will come up with a new girls name because I don't think you are sold on Laney, or maybe you are doing it because you don't think I am sold on Laney. (It's growing on me.) I was thinking about have more symbolic meaning to the name without naming the kid "he who was born while we were broke as fuck". We shall see.

Thinking of You...

2004-09-14T07:45:00.000-05:00

I could see you were upset last night. I think its because of the bills. I don't know what to do to make it better. I wrote you a note and left it on your purse this morning. It's just words, but its all I have to give you right now.

Thinking of you is the reason, my reason, to be.
Thinking of you is a vacation for my mind.
Thinking of you is sunshine on a cloudy day.
Thinking of you is knowing our baby will know,
peace, love, compassion, discipline, and forgiveness,
by thinking of you.

I LOVE YOUR HEART
I'm thinking of you,
Mike

How does one girl embody so much of the right stuff? You amaze me.

IN AWE OF YOU

11 weeks 4 days

2004-09-13T07:49:00.000-05:00

All seems to be going well with the baby, but we will know more later today after the appointment. I know you think I forgot, but I didn't. I will suprise you later this morning by calling and asking what time the appointment is. :) You were really tired last night but i'm not going to get too upset about that. You should be getting some energy this week. (or so the book says.)

This weekend I was remembering all those days in college when you worked at Genoa Pizza and I would deliver pizzas just so I could be with you. It was like 120 degrees in the summers by those ovens, and it totally sucked. They closed down yesterday, and I can't help but feel sad. We had alot of good times there during college. Remember when you cut through the orange and your hand and you needed stitches? :) Yeah. Good times. LOL Now I'm all paranoid when you use a knife even tho thats like 6 years ago. I'm such a loser. :)

MY LOVE MY LIFE

Ultrasound from 8/4

2004-09-10T16:34:00.000-05:00

This is the Ultrasound

11 weeks

2004-09-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

It just hit me today that its 11 weeks and all looks good. One more week and we should have the all clear. I'm actually quite excited that we can see a light in the darkness. You have an appointment on Monday with the doc but you said I don't need to be there because it's just routine.

I had a blast last night playing HALO. You're so cute when you spin in circles and get caught on stuff and die. Tonight maybe we can play some Double Dash after my class. (If you're not too tired.) Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you? How did I get so lucky? Where do you hide your halo and wings? Ok thats enough Lovey stupid talk. :D

Which reminds me, Mike and Jennys wedding this weekend was like a highschool reunion eh? Everyone was there, and they were all very nice. (shocker) PJ looked much better than he did in HS and he seemed to be happy when I told him that. To think most of them are in their early 30's now. yeesh how did we get so old? :) Can you believe I'm going to be 30 next year. *shudder* *cry* Seriously tho I'm not too worried about it. I'll just lie about my age from now on. Easy Fix. :)

My Lovely Wife Lori

2004-09-08T01:13:00.000-05:00

For those of you requesting pictures. Here is one of my lovely wife Lori.

10 weeks 5 days

2004-09-07T07:58:00.000-05:00

We are so stealthy! We have decided only to tell immediate family about the pregnancy, and so far we have done pretty well. :) I am so terrible and not telling everyone I meet that you are pregnant. We spent Monday at Dawn and Jasons eating and playing games and I almost said you were pregnant like ten times. You were tired at like 7:30pm so I made sure we got home, but like usual you stayed up till 11 watching TV despite my urging you to go to bed. :( You need sleep!

Yesterday my mom hugged you and told you "its gonna work out this time honey, you'll see." and I wanted to cry. I'm not sure why it affected me so much. I guess it's because it's my mom and I know how much she loves you. It is such a miracle that she had six kids and never miscarried.

CIAO BELLA!

10 weeks

2004-09-02T09:20:00.000-05:00

You scared me yesterday. You said you didn't feel good and my heart stopped. You looked at me with worry in your face and i wanted to cry, but then you told me you think you are getting a cold...DON'T DO THAT TO ME! I was so relieved I had no sympathy for your cold. :) Sorry about that.

Before bed we were chatting and you reminded me of when I tried to do the Axle this weekend. You were laughing so hard you couldn't even tell me what you were laughing about. Finally you told me about the hotel hallway and how I fell on my ass when I tried to do an axle. Damn your tricky skating moves! :) It was pretty funny. Like the time I tried to do the backflip off the wall at the theatre after watching Batman and penis planted in the grass. Ouch that toe still hurts sometimes. I'm a dumb ass. :)

WHO LOVES YOU BABY?!

9 weeks 4 days

2004-08-30T08:34:00.000-05:00

I wanted to tell you about this blog this weekend to cheer you up. I knew it would make you happy since our money situation is majorly bringing us down, but it would ruin the point of this whole thing.

All I want is for you to be a happy pregnant woman who has a happy healthy baby, and it kills me that I can't give that to you. I feel a bit helpless right now. Couple helpless with broke and you have depression. (I know you always tell me not to blame myself because we both got into this situation, but you know I never listen when you say that.)

YOU'RE MY HEART
Mike

9 weeks 1 day

2004-08-27T07:43:00.000-05:00

We passed a small milestone yesterday. You went to that picnic with your aunts and I fought my first car fire and neither one of us got home till 11:30 at night. We were brushing our teeth when you told me that you weren't cramping like last time, and I was happy to see the relief on your face. I know we're not out of the woods yet, but I was so glad to see some tension drain from your face.

I know it sounds silly, but I was really happy when you actually initiated a snuggle last night. We must have both needed it because we fell asleep immediately, and woke up all sweaty and stuck together. LOL Good Times!

The Doctor said that most miscarriages happen before the 10th week, and it is because there is something wrong with the pregnancy. This is natural and you would not want to carry it to term with something wrong. As painful as that may be I have to agree. So far so good.

I know you are pretty "reserved" when it comes to social situations, but I hope you notice all the great people leaving encouraging words for us in the comments of this blog. (TO: Everyone leaving comments, Thank You for supporting us.)

8 weeks 5 days

2004-08-24T07:51:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about the whole boy or girl "first child" thing, and I have come up with some pros and cons.

In my family we had boy, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, and in your family it was boy then girl. So I am kind of partial to boy first because they always protected us as the stereotypical big brother should do. My big bro actually had a girl first though, and I like that too because she is so cool and it brings a different dynamic to how they handle problems. You can't just have your big brother beat their face in. Having a girl first gives you the option of a million cute things you can buy, and having a daughter like you is probably the best thing that could happen. We would then be lulled into a false sense of security and BAM the second one would be like me. I shudder to think! (For those of you who aren't my wife reading this. She really is that cool. Her parents got so damn lucky.) I love my little sisters to death, but a little boy I can play ball with would be so kick ass. As long as he isn't the unholy terror I was when I was younger.

Ultimately I just hope the baby is healthy. Please God!
(You just told me last night, Thursday will be the same day we lost the baby last time so I am holding my breath. I think everything is going to be ok tho.)

8 weeks 3 days

2004-08-22T06:33:00.000-05:00

The Chinese birth calendar says it gonna be a boy, and I guess its a good thing because we don't have a girls name picked out yet. Gavin and Gabriel are our boys names, but if it's a girl I kinda like Kayleigh thats such a cool name. My buddy Jims wife is named Jensina, and I always thought that was kick ass, but everyone calls her Jenni and that messes it all up. Then I thought of Jesenna, but she'll probably get called Jessi. I guess I will ask you tonight if you have made any progress on the girls name front. It can't be green either since that seems to be the only thing we can agree on.

The baby book says the baby won't be able to hear us for a while yet, but I still like to talk to your tummy. I get all happy, and silly when I do and I feel a little stupid, but you don't seem to mind so I'm gonna keep it up. I guess, somehow I hope the baby can hear my voice and holds on so we can meet in a few months.

For now I hope, and I pray.

I LOVE YOU ANGEL!

7 weeks 6 days

2004-08-18T07:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the first ultra sound. My baby is 7 weeks 4 days old a little over a centimeter long (about half an inch) and growing. By next week the babies size will have doubled. (I learned that from the book you have in the bathroom. I read it at night. I don't know why I don't tell you that.) We got a chance to see the little heart beating in our babies chest and it was really a sight to see. Wasn't it? I didn't know how I would react, but I guess I am like every other moronic parent in being excited about it. After the miscarriage it was such a relief to know the baby is doing well. For the most part I was just as happy to see you happy. It's been a while since you have been happy because of the money situation that we are in right now. I feel horrible because you should be enjoying this, and you're just really stressed out. I'm sorry we are where we are right now. I wanted to give you the perfect life, and I tried give it to you too soon. It kills me that I am hurting you. I would do anything to make it right. The immensity of the problem just has me paralyzed right now. I will suck it up.

I haven't cried in a long time, so I feel like a jackass for crying as I write this, but I am.

I Love You With All My Heart,
Mike

Why?

2004-08-17T00:26:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't been my super communicating self lately, but please know that this is for you. I am doing this because I am thinking of you and it is a chance to get things off my chest and tell you how I am feeling about our childs upcoming life.